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Joke of the Day

"According to HR, the boss can come into my office eating a kebab when I've only had an apple for lunch but I can't throw my chair at him"

"Do cops tell bad guys to freeze in Alaska? Or is it just understood?"

"What did one font say to the other while at the beach? ""Serifs up, dude!"""

"[speed dating] I enjoy gardening. I've got a bit of a green thumb. Actually several of my fingers are discolored. I think I have diabetes."

"What do you call a heard of sperm whales? Bukkake."

"An Emo and a leaf fall from a tree, Who hits the ground first? the leaf, the rope stops the emo"

"True friendship is when you walk into someone's house, and your WiFi connects automatically.."

"Bartender, I'd like you to bring that brunette at the end of the bar a slice of your finest ham."

"My hamster died... He fell asleep at the wheel."

"If you love something let it go, if it comes back with a toddlers arm, it was probably a Pit Bull."