204919
Joke of the Day
"I wouldn't be caught dead with a Necropheliac."
Next Joke
"I once tried to become a Nazi... ...but killing people was outside mein kampf-ort zone."
"Everyone gets on the fashion industry for unrealistic beauty standards, but can we talk about unrealistic depictions of food on boxes?"
"If you start a conversation with ""you're gonna say I'm crazy"" there's nothing I can do but to congratulate you on your clairvoyance."
"What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, you go get it"
"What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road? He was stopped for speeding fined $50 and dismantled for six months."
"When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked!"
"Once a person turns 60, the ""reply all"" feature should no longer be available to them when sending emails."
"Little girl/boy: ""Mommy, I want to be a [PERSON I DISAGREE WITH] when I grow up."" Mom: ""Well pick one sweetie, you can't do both."""
"Wife: Who let the boys out? Me: Woof woof woof! Her: Who let the boys out?! Me: Woof woof woof! Her: KIDS ARE IN THE STREET! Me: I'm going.."