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Joke of the Day

"What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup."

"Knock knock Heisenberg Knock knock Who's there I am the one who knocks I am the one who knocks who You know exactly who I am say my name Heisenberg You're goddamn right."

"How Far Can a Fox... Q: How far can a fox run into a grove? A: Only halfwaythen he's running out of it! Click here: http://redd.it/2o1hgq"

"If anyone breaks in, I take comfort in knowing they'll never get past the 20 pairs of shoes in the hallway."

"is it me or is it tired in here? hahahahaahaa"

"How does Carrot Top have sex? Gingerly. *(Source: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson)*"

"2016 started with the death of a gorilla ...and is ending with the death of a Guerilla"

"[me narrating a documentary on urchins] ""look at these boring moist porcupines"""

"A roman centurion walked into a bar, raised his hand and signed the waiter to get him 2 martini. The waiter gave him 5 instead."

"Dicaprio finally won an Oscar!!! Sorry wrong sub..."