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Joke of the Day

"[pitch meeting] Okay so it's a ton of dogs. Dalmatians. 100 of 'em. I call it ""100 Dalmatians."" [idea man pipes in] Let's think bigger"

"Ea vs Christiano Ronald Whats the difference bewteen Ea and Christiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo is Faster"

"Stephen Hawking wrote another book, It's about time."

"Q.Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A. He was feeling crummy!"

"Are you a can of mountain dew? Cause I'd mountain dew you."

"Watching police ticket people parked incorrectly that are in church right now and understanding that Jesus and karma have a sense of humor"

"How does Sean Connery's dog bark? Woofsh"

"Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge. "

"Why is it always so sunny in Firefly and Serenity? Because they only have one season."

"What does a gay mans penis taste like? Shit!"