204029

Joke of the Day

"Dirtiest, raunchiest, most racist joke you've got: I'll start - What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn? Stop laughing and reload"

"I don't see dead people, I just see people that I wish were dead."

"I accidenty said Hi to a feminist the other day... My court case starts tomorrow"

"I entered ten puns in a contest ... to see which would win. No pun in ten did. ps: not my own, came across randomly."

"Why does the nurse always carry a red pen while at work? To draw blood."

"Morning wood makes the best fire."

"What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator."

"What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"I've decided my tweets sound better when I say them so instead of tweeting I'm just gonna call all of you when I think of stuff."

"How is anal sex like your first car? It may not be exactly what you wanted but that doesn't stop your Dad from giving it to you anyway."