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Joke of the Day

"One advantage of being a woman is no one can surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom."

"A 23 yr old girl just said I feel like I see people & I think they're my age then I find out they're OLD!! Like, THIRTY!! So I killed her."

"If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazine for the articles?"

"Q: Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a - computer? A: A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy."

"AOL was hacked yesterday so watch out for spam email that looks like it came from 1995."

"Why are Women like buses? You wait all day for one then find out 48 other people in the local area have been riding on her."

"Next time somebody tries to argue using statistics.... Remind them that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape."

"When life gets you down I realize that you might feel overwhelmed. Bur remember, when life gives you lemmings.... toss them off a cliff"

"After progressively lifting heavier weights, I was finally able to squat 600 pounds. Unfortunately, all that money still weighs less than a kilo."

"Can someone's face be a pet peeve?"