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Joke of the Day

"One advantage of being a woman is no one can surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom."

Next Joke
 
"Canadian bird watching is pretty depressing... It's hard to see these birds all aloon."
"Mom: Why is your room always so... Mom: Why is your room always so messy? Me: So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die."
"On the topic of George Michael... I guess you could say it was his ""Last Christmas"". Too soon?"
"I asked an atheist ""How do you view homosexuality?"" He replied ""Mostly on pornhub"""
"What do fish smoke? Seaweed."
"Going to open a new restaurant ... I am getting ready to open an Asian/Mexican fusion resturant... I am calling it Juan-Ton"
"""who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like its the morning newspaper??"""
"What do you call a lion with a fancy hat? A dandy lion."
"What ringtone have you got? Murphy asked Paddy, ""What ringtone have you got?"" Paddy said, ""I've never really looked, but probably light brown"