20299

Joke of the Day

"""How much for this melted ghost?"" Sir that's a bed sheet ""You have a lot of them! And they're packaged? IS THIS GHOST HELL"" This is a Macys"

"Whenever you get mad, just think of a t-rex trying to masturbate."

"Troll: Horrible thing. Me: Horrible thing back. Troll: I was just giving my honest opinion. Me: Me too. Troll: But..."

"Why didn't the penguin close on his mortgage? He had cold feet."

"My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion."

"[Wheel] _'D L_K_ TO SOL__ TH_ P_ZZL_ I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat Go ahead I'd like to solve the puzzle Yes, go ahead No, I'd like to.."

"What has four legs, and if it fell out of a tree it'd kill you? A pool table"

"What happened to the car-salesman who was spamming in r/Germany? He got autobahned"

"I want Ebola... cereal"

"My wife told me to give her nine inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her twice, and hit her with a brick."