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Joke of the Day

"Why should you always bring charmander along when camping? Because he's the fire starter."

"I'll call it smartphone when it slaps me in the face before sending a text to an ex."

"Difference Between a Midget and STD? Ones a clever runt...the other is a running cunt"

"""No points, illegal kick to the face."" ""But I'm the hero of this movie."" ""Fair enough, here's your trophy."" -The Karate Kid"

"Bad news: I got so busy drafting tweets, I forgot to pick the kids up at school. Worse news: I'm a bus driver"

"Homophobia is a sacred union between a man and his bigotry."

"In my next life, I'd like to come back as someone who has a life."

"What is the comeback that fits well with any argument? Not a joke. Just want to see funny comments."

"Why do hippies have sex at music festivals? Because it is intents"

"I just sneezed while eating a salad and the button popped off my jeans Which proves my theory: nothing good can ever come from eating salad"