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Joke of the Day

"Why do old people read the Bible so much? Cramming for finals"

"I don't think Flounder I caught today was very happy with me. He was looking at me kinda sideways."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to turkey!"

"If you look up ""cool"" in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of me. I like to deface dictionaries."

"What's the difference between a pedophile and acne? Acne waits for puberty to cum on your face"

"What does an elephant say when it kidnaps someone? ""Get in the trunk"""

"On the bright side you only need one more brain cell and you could pass as a plant"

"what amusement park ride do jews not really care for? the holocuaster"

"A woman once said that a cheating man is like a deck of playing cards.... You need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to smash his fucking head in, and a spade to bury the bastard"

"When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike... Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."