202412

Joke of the Day

"Cop: ""Are you driving under the influence?"" Me: ""No."" Cop: ""Say the alphabet backwards."" Me: ""Tebahpla eht."""

"My girlfriend says I've got commitment issues.... Well she's not really my girlfriend, more of a wife. -Stuart Francis"

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not."

"[Pilot intercom] Me: ""Hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. Not to cause alarm but the pilot has passed out and I lied a lot on my resume."""

"Whats more bruised than an old apple? My asshole after a night with Caitlyn Jenner"

"What did the farmer say to the chocolate cow? Get to the back of the meat grinder!"

"Why don't Mexicans cross the border in 3's? No tres passing"

"Two men were arguing when one goes: 'Come at me, you wanna fight? You can bring all your friends vs me'..... ... And then I'll beat up the BOTH of you."

"What's long and green and has an asshole at each end? A St. Patrick's Day parade!"

"Where does a pirate keep his buccaneer' s? Under his buccan-hat."