201460

Joke of the Day

"Please pray for my friends' 4 yr old. I just found out that ten minutes of his life wasn't photographed or documented on Facebook today."

"- Are you excited sir? - Yes! I'm gonna feed whales & pet dolphins! - Sir, this flight is going to Finland - That's like Seaworld, right?"

"Today, my teacher stated that he used to work for NASA. He told that class that he became a teacher because it paid more."

"Only works in German - What is the biggest monkey? - Giraffe!"

"long-term plan is to let my debt build into the millions and when I die have a golden tombstone that says COME COLLECT IT IN HELL, TAX MAN"

"A duck walks up to a lemonade stand... and he says quack, quack."

"Ok /r/jokes, give me your best. Just wanted to see this subreddits potential. And that I'm not much of a funny person."

"The squirrels on campus are getting bold. I was eating a pop tart outside and a squirrel came over and stole my credit card information"

"I wish my cat would squirt me with the water bottle when I go to eat junk food."

"My diet plan is just watching my 400 pound coworker lick her lips and sweat as she describes her dinner from last night."