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Joke of the Day

"Commercial for Twitter: ""Are you tired of arguing with people you actually know?"""

"So a bar walks into a guy 's asshole and the guy is like ""Fuck ouch dammit my prostate!"""

"Why do herb pickers have so many hobbies? They've got a lot of thyme on their hands"

"Some guy walked up to me today and said I'm racist I told him I'm not racist. In fact my best friend was a black child until my dad sold him"

"3 am phone call, ""Hey, are you asleep?"" Nope, Im skydiving."

"I saw a tranny in a miniskirt the other day I thought, that shows a lot of balls"

"She wanted to be friends with benefits, but I said no because she didn't offer dental."

"I live by 2 simple rules: 1. Don't treat people like shit. 2. If any melted cheese gets on your paper plate, you must also eat the plate."

"What problem afflicts 40% of all pedophiles? Immature ejaculation"

"What do you call an Egyptian back-doctor? A Cairo-practor."