20089

Joke of the Day

"What did the NSA agent say to the other NSA agent when he saw the German Chancellor? I'd tap that."

"Skeleton: an oldie but a goodie! Why didn't the skelton cross the road? (Answer in comments so you can fully appreciate the joke)"

"What do you call a criminal jazz player? Felonius Monk!"

"What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released? An increase in battery cases."

"What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll just hang around here."

"Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into someones ass."

"What did Adam say to Eve? Stand back! I don't know how big this thing gets."

"I used to think love() was abstract, until you implemented it in MyHeart."

"My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo... I had to put my foot down"

"Just read a book on Helium. Couldn't put it down."