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Joke of the Day

"I can already hear Monday morning whispering Go F***Yourself in my ear."

"I'd like to thank my dad for always being there for me From the day I was conceived to the day he found out my mom was pregnant"

"Who was the first female commodore? The Commodore Amiga."

"What do you call a pothead with two spliffs? Double jointed"

"I wasn't so sure about having a mustache... ...but it's growing on me."

"What is hitlers favorite letter? I'm not sure but I can tell you it's not z"

"I'm a terrible singer, I have two left throats"

"Cat Negotiator: Ok, so we'll shit in a box in your house and you will clean it up Humans: And you will be a loyal friend Cat: hahahaha sure"

"I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I shoulda cooked it at aloha temperature."

"What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him ? He's bee-witched !"