199420

Joke of the Day

"Wine - you're gonna sleep good Beer - you're probably going to hit on your cousin. Whiskey - everyone will see your genitals."

"What nation is the most unjust? Discrimination"

"[me] if all dogs go to heaven, then what about Cujo? [the pope] how did you get into my bathroom?"

"How do you turn an airliner into a boat? #**Allahu Ackbar!**"

"What's the difference between England and a cup of tea? The teabag stays in the cup longer."

"Why was the snowman smiling? He saw the snowblower coming."

"MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!"

"How do you get rid of an itch? Start from scratch."

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool so I decided to give him a glass of water."

"Just managed to download the 'Titanic' soundtrack to my phone, even though some said it was unsyncable."