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Joke of the Day

"What drove the British mystery fan insane? He lost his Marples."

"Women can be so ungrateful. I just made breakfast in bed & instead of thanking me, she screams ""Who are you! How did you get in my house?"""

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: Besides that."

"I really got in touch with my inner self tonight... I'll never buy that cheap toilet paper again!"

"Where did the general put his armies? In his SLEEVIES!!!"

"We'll all be making some serious Zellweger face on the toilet tomorrow."

"What's the Dumbest thing you've ever Done? Thank you very much for honest sharing."

"Popped a tire on a pot hole today Badum tss"

"I hate it when I go to bed and forget to turn off my swag."

"I was watching a film with my little lad earlier.. He said, ""Dad I'm scared, is that woman going to die?"". I said ""Judging on the size of that horses cock, then yes son, I'm afraid so""."