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Joke of the Day

"It's not working. I've napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea."

"Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?"

"I was at the airport when I saw a soldier returning home. The first thing he said was, ""look mom, no hands."""

"If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees"

"You wanna know what makes me smile? Face muscles"

"What did the boots say to the cowboy? You ride -- I'll go on foot."

"Why are atheists poor? because its a non-prophet organisation."

"What's the famous Confederacy battle cry? We Surrender!"

"I was sitting across the bus today from a very sexy Thai girl...and I kept saying to myself ""Don't get an erection , Don't get an erection""....But she did"

"I heard there was a bombing in Times Square. But it was just Mariah."