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Joke of the Day

"Pokemon GO servers Yeah, that's it."

"the liberal media won't report that I can easily do 100 push-ups because they are frightened"

"Why is there a wolf on Wall Street. Animals are bad with money. My cat just lost $80 at high-stakes uno"

"Everyone is talking about how the inaugural attendance was 1/40 of what it was in 2009... They don't understand how killer the commute from Moscow is."

"You've probably heard of Davy Jones' locker, but do you know who Davy Jones is? He's a Sea-Monkee."

"Turns out the Joker has a criminally-insane dog. He's locked up in Barkham Asylum."

"Why isn't the Vice President running for the Democratic Nomination this year? He's Biden his time."

"What is a fedora enthusiast's favorite cookie? M'lano"

"I just accidentally opened the door for a jehovah's Witness and he took one look at me and just walked away."

"With so many unhappy married couples and a 50% divorce rate, I think it's pretty obvious that Americans don't breed well in captivity."