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Joke of the Day
"Somebody called me pretentious today... I almost choked on my chai latte."
Next Joke
"If my memory foam mattress really had ""memory,"" it could write for Penthouse."
"Chicken pot pie. My three favourite things."
"Why do Puerto ricans have so many kids? Because pulling out is work!!!"
"They are giving free AIDS test at the DMV. The only thing worse than waiting in line at DMV is finding out you have AIDS."
"I asked a gym instructor to teach me how to do the splits ... He said, ''How flexible are you''? I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays''."
"Who's the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The one that can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts"
"I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness."
"402 year old woman pulled out of Nepal earthquake rubble survives for 100 years without food or water Fucking one upping bullshit headlines."
"Did you hear about the red luxury cruise liner that collided with the blue luxury cruise liner? The passengers and crew were marooned."