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Joke of the Day

"Rhinos produce 1,346,980 sperm cells per ejaculation... I guess its because they're always so horny..."

"Me: So if I call Canada it's billed as international? Phone rep: Yes. Cuz Canada is a country. Me: You should hear how ridiculous you sound."

"When I was a kid I put paper in an oven to get it to burn... ...but the knob only went up to 450 degrees Fahrenheit."

"How do you starve a neurosurgeon? Hide his paycheck with his kids."

"How not to be funny. /r/funny"

"What do you call a nap in computer science class? A CS-ta"

"Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Melendez Gilbert Melendez who? Gilbert may lend deez nuts"

"My boss just told me that I'm doing the work of three men... Moe, Larry and Curly"

"MONDAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY A GENEROUS GRANT FROM THE FUCK THIS SHIT FOUNDATION"

"Two forks... Two forks were flying and one of them crashed. You know why? Because forks can't fly. Two cows were flying and one of them crashed. You know why? He got a fork in his eye."