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Joke of the Day

"Have you seen the bus website? Yes - it's just the ticket!"

"Did you hear about the Pharaoh who refused to believe that his boat was sinking? He was in denial"

"I've officially started crossing my sevens when I write them. It's a fun, easy way to distract myself from the fact that I'll be dead soon!"

"Checking my phone one more time before I go to sleep because apparently 533 times wasn't enough today."

"""Everything you say can and will be used against you"" should be included in marriage vows."

"""MAYBE IT'S THE TRANSMISSION!"" I scream helpfully when I drive past anyone who's car is broken down on the side of the road..."

"What happens once a minute, twice a moment, but never in an eternity? The letter M"

"Thom Yorke's phone thinks someone is listening in on its calls... ...delusional iPhone."

"Ever get home, look at your hair in a mirror, and wonder how many small children you terrified while you were out"

"vote up if when you switch on light in a dack room and it shines, where does the dackness go to?"