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Joke of the Day

"What is your favourite type of birthday present? Another present!"

"I was flipping through the channels.... and my wife asked was on the TV. I said ""dust"" And that's how the fight started."

"I just realized... I've been on reddit ALL FUCKING YEAR!"

"Easiest and quickest way to get me to shut up, open my mouth and get on my knees is to simply make it rain Skittles."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I told her that's a big word for a 7 year old"

"If I moved to Britain right now, I could retire a wealthy man. My bank account has approximately 6,723 dollars in it, which would convert to like infinite British pounds."

"I don't care if you don't like space puns. I like space puns. Comet me bro."

"H: Is there anything new you want to try in bed? M: Actually... *stretches out alone in bed, sleeps for 8 hours* M: That was amazing."

"Bill Clinton is working at a newsstand. A woman asks him ""How can I buy the New York Times?"" He replies ""Ask my wife. She'll tell you how you do it."

"What material do african blacksmiths use the most? Steel."