191889

Joke of the Day

"I spent 2 hours at a gym looking angry with my arms crossed. The manager thought I worked there and gave me a raise"

"What do you call a psychic who simply doesn't care? Telapathy"

"If you play Titanic backwards it's about a guy who rises from the sea, bangs a ginger and tries to throw her over the railing of a boat."

"[seaside wedding] We are gathered here today to celebrate the- [bride picked up by giant seagull] -completion of the ritual. HAIL GULLTHRAX"

"Never feel worthless! Your organs are worth thousands."

"My father had a stroke he's all right now."

"All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one."

"I went to see my drug dealer last week, he had some cheap trainers for sale. They were nice so I thought I'd get myself a pair. I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping for days!!"

"What's a Warboy's from Mad Max's favourite web browser? Chrome"

"What did the beaver say when he fell in water? Damn it."