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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the tick who followed U2 on tour? They say he was living life on The Edge."
Next Joke
"I bought my wife a pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself. (Shamelessly stolen from Craig Ferguson)"
"Did you hear about the clam that could play violin? It had excellent mussel memory."
"How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan."
"Fish are just mobile sushi storage units."
"What's the opposite of Tim Walken? Tim Daly."
"I'm so thankful for my kids.If it weren't for them I'd never know what a cool sound my vacuum cleaner makes when it sucks up Rice Crispies."
"What is the difference between a kid and a fridge The fridge does not scream when I put my meat in it."
"I wonder what chairs think about all day ""Oh, here comes another asshole"""
"Fallout 4 doesn't come out in Japan until Dec. 17th Which is fair because they got the original fallout 70 years before us"