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Joke of the Day

"Why won't the US change over to the Metric system? Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters."

"What type of road race do Donald Trump supporters run? 3 K's"

"What's the difference between Hillary and a piece of fruit? [deleted]"

"Want to hear a word I made up? Plagiarism"

"Bad grammar is my biggest pet peeve Their is nothing else than pisses me off more then seeing people use it."

"I wasn't good enough for you in high school but suddenly after 5 kids a husband and 3 boyfriends I'm starting to look good eh?"

"I went out to eat and told the waiter I wanted the steak bloody rare. He asked if I was worried about the mad cow, to which I replied..... ..... No. My wife will cheer up after you take her order."

"Why shouldn't you bowl against a snake? Because snakes make lots of strikes."

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist fuck!"

"the road to Failure is paved with Doritos."