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Joke of the Day

"I heard Google is turning 15 years old today. Now it's really going to think it knows everything."

"Why did the mummy stop using the Internet? He was getting far too wrapped up in it."

"I ate some bad Greek food now I falafel."

"Burglars broke into Kanye West's home. As a result, 500 statues of Kanye West are missing."

"[liquor store] Him: Did you see a cat in here? I know I just heard purring. Me: *looking at huge boxed wine selection* Him: Oh, it's you."

"If you ever Google ""Gary Oldman"" For fuck sakes don't forget the ""r"" in Gary!!!"

"What country has many sugar? sweetzerland"

"What do you call a wall st. executive that sucks at his job and is obsessed with his ex girlfriend? A broke stalker!"

"Cemetery joke Man walks into a cemetery- ""You have any openings?"" The graves keeper nods ""Lots!"""

"Do you know the difference between people in Dubai and people in Abu Dhabi? Well, the people in Dubai don't like the Flinstones, but the people in Abu-Dhabi-Do."