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Joke of the Day

"Guy in Car: get out of my way idiot Guy in Crosswalk: pedestrians have the right of way Car Guy: this ain't Pedestria buddy this is America"

"Don't you hate it when... [NSFW] ...you could have actually viewed that Reddit post at work?"

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.."

"I finally got hired at the local adult store First day on the job I got a raise!"

"My phone just sent me an unsolicited hockey score. Aren't there Japanese horror films that start this way?"

"A termite walks into a bar and asks, ""Where's the bartender?"""

"""Hi, my name is Gary and I'm a shopaholic, my favorite place to shop is the alcohol store."""

"I've never wanted to know the answer to anything bad enough to ask a question at the end of a meeting that's running 30 minutes over time."

"Boss: Did you bring the reports? Me: Hold on. *reaches into pockets and pulls out two middle fingers* Boss: I resign. You're the boss now."

"Why can't two Asians have a white baby? Because two wongs don't make a white"