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Joke of the Day

"There's a fine science to the number of texts you need to pretend to be friendly before asking someone for a favor."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but how they got in there I will never know."

"Sometimes when I'm sad, I'll go to the park and, from a distance, look thru my thumb and index finger and begin squishing people's heads..."

"Did you hear about the one asian guy who failed calculus? He was the odd Nguyen out."

"So i was trying to come up with a short joke about Catholic priests... But all the little ones were taken :v"

"You Must Be From Ireland Because everytime I see you my penis be Dublin."

"Why is Reddit tired of the broken arms joke? Because it appears in every mother fucking thread"

"What do you call a Chinese prostitute with no legs? Dragon Lips."

"*baby takes first step* wow took you long enough"

"What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? ""Honey I'm home!"""