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Joke of the Day

"A N U S B U T T M U F F ~ My reply when the optometrist asks me to read the lower lines, regardless of what I see"

"So a guy calls into work and says, ""I can't come in today, I'm seeing spots."" ""Have you seen a doctor?"" ""No, just the spots."""

"There are 10 types of people in this world... ... Those who know binary and those who dont"

"I just burped and fogged my glasses up. Line forms to the left ladies."

"Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism? Apparently it's because of the unusually high Mercury content."

"Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain]"

"I've been taking something for my Kleptomania. I've been taking something for my Kleptomania"

"If you had $1 for every time you've masturbated What color would your Bugatti be?"

"what do you call a spicy wrap made at an Indian takeaway? currito"

"""Mom, do you have time to play Crazy 8's?"" ""No I'm making dinner, I don't have the time to learn a new game right now."" ""It's not new, it was made in the 1960's"""