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Joke of the Day
"What's yellow and flashes? A banana with a loose connection."
Next Joke
"What do termites put on their toast? Door jamb."
"The other day I asked my wife to hand me the news paper. She said, ""Silly you, just use my Ipad.""... That spider had no fucking idea what hit it."
"Change is inevitable... Unless you go to a vending machine."
"Men Are Like ..."
"How can you tell if a gay person is dead? Check pulse"
"Epic Tragedy Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."
"I will be in a bathroom stall later today to watch Trump's inauguration... ...it will forever be remembered as the day shit went down."
"Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door."
"Someone tweets ""pizza,"" I want pizza. Someone tweets ""donut,"" I want a donut. Someone tweets ""kale,"" I want pizza and a donut."