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Joke of the Day

"I got a notice that a sex offender just moved in nearby and I'm worried for my children... So I got them all pedometers."

"Which dance will a chicken not do ? The foxtrot !"

"What does the comedian say to his children on his deathbed? ""No one will appreciate your jokes once you're *dad.*"""

"Water bears are so badass... if they fall into the pits at La Brea, the tar degrades."

"Two peanuts are walking down the street... one's assaulted."

"Two guys are walking when they come across a dog on the sidewalk, licking his balls. One guys says, ""I wish I could do that."" The other guy says, ""You better pet him first to make sure he's friendly."""

"If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain,..... Can a hooker get laid off?"

"My son curses like I make love. He has no idea how to do it and someone usually yells at him and tells him to stop before he's finished."

"I wish I grew up during the Great Depression That way every Sunday was soup or bowl Sunday"

"What's a Rastafarian's favorite Star Wars character? Jah Jah Binks"