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Joke of the Day

"What's a lumberjacks favorite animal? A TIMBERwolf"

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"So these lepers are playing ice hockey and he gets kicked off the team. Why? Because there was a face off on the ice."
"A search party sounds like a fun way to look for someone."
"Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had no-BODY to go with."
"Called my boss this morning. Told him I couldn't come in because I had anal glaucoma. ""Anal glaucoma?"" ""What's that?"" he asked. ""I just can't see my ass coming in today."""
"God hates fags He prefers a nice, fat, dank blunt."
"If your'e anxious and you know it..... ...clasp your hands."
"*bursts into room Me: GUYS! GUYS! I FOUND A UNICORN Guys: Yeah sure,show us then! *holds up single kernel of corn *gets violently beaten"
"If you're paddling a canoe up a river and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones."
"[screaming over sirens] I SAID ACTUALLY YOU'RE NOT ""FIGHTING"" THE FIRE YOU'RE WATERING IT"