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Joke of the Day

"A Brow Beating I told my girlfriend that it looked like she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."

"Funny that when some people go out for 'fresh air', they come back in smelling like 'weed'"

"Why were the Native Americans in America before us? They had reservations."

"How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America? They had reservations."

"What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters? This is non-cents!"

"50 SHADES OF... Theatre owners have been piping in citrus scent after each showing of 50 Shades of Grey. Because everyone knows citrus is best at eliminating fish odors"

"7: I'm beating you! Me: Ok. 7: I'm way ahead! Me: I see that. 7: I'm gonna win! Me:.... My son on the carousel horse in front of me."

"What's the funny thing about child pornography? The absence of cast and credits at the end. Doug Stanhope"

"[hitting a beach ball back and forth with son] *accidentally hits it over his head and into an outdoor concert* ""don't bother son, its gone"""

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he ate pizza before it was cool."