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Joke of the Day

"How does a mathematician get rid of constipation? He works it out with a pencil."

"Why can't T-Rex's Hi-Five each other? Because they are dead."

"Have you guys tried McDonald's new Premium McWrap? So much better than the Budget McWrap, which is a dead mouse in a cabbage leaf."

"What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs. Hawking"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school? It's okay...he woke up."

"Whenever I see someone with spider web tattoos on their elbows I spray them with Raid and attempt to flush them down the toilet."

"I don't know why they invite me to an Easter egg hunt, then freak out when I turn up in camo gear with my rifle."

"What's Imperial Britain's favorite game? Clash of Clans"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic satanist? He sold his soul to Santa"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number...you've probably never heard of it."