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Joke of the Day

"Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready."

"How do you confuse an idiot? Seven."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroking Off!"

"Small mirror that attaches to head of a phone so you can peripherally experience real life while you're live tweeting it."

"How do you say virgin in German? Guten tight ( )"

"I'm sorry I got salsa on your baby and I'm extra sorry I scraped it off with a chip"

"Sometimes when I'm singing a song a get an urge to skip the chorus... But I always refrain"

"Why was the skeleton embarrassed? Because he had a boner."

"I love babies... ...but I can't finish a whole one."

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. They are very efficient and don't have much of a sense of humor."