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Joke of the Day

"""She's so hot. But she had, like, no mascara on. It's a no go for me."" -dudes, according to ladies"

"Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb."

"What do you call an Asian who is always on time? Thai Mingh Ha. Ha. Ha."

"N.W.A. i was straight outta chocolate syrup and very upset so i nicked some from my roommate. i am a nicker with attitude"

"When the checkout person tries to put your toilet paper in a bag, tell them it's 'for here', not 'to go'. Then ask them to hurry."

"Apparently, ""No kidding!"" isn't a good response when your boss says he's confused."

"It's obvious that God doesn't hate gays; because if he did he would have made a plague or something to wipe them out."

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies."

"DONKEY-ONION HYBRID Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes."

"Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go fuck yourself."