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Joke of the Day
"Why are yachts and ships so scary? Because they're for boating."
Next Joke
"If you love someone just tell them. Or get drunk and text them 75 times, that's practically the same thing."
"Where do cats go when they die? Purrgutory."
"What is Al Qaeda's Favorite Football Team? The New York Jets."
"I could never be on The Bachelor. I don't need millions watching me get dumped & cry on tv. It's bad enough my cat sees that shit everyday."
"You do not want to see me before I've had my coffee! And I don't want to see you after, so now what?"
"What's a redneck family reunion called? (NSFW) pump-kin"
"Can you imagine what would happen if Kate Middleton started doing porn? She would be *royally* fucked!"
"[ten seconds into tv interview where my identity is being protected] camera guy: don't try to disguise your own voice, let the machine do it"
"Snoop Dogg repackaged himself as Snoop Lion, and then went on to become Snoop Carrot, The first rapper who is also a raw carrot"