175561

Joke of the Day

"Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes but no lighters or matches or anything to light them with. What do they do? Throw one cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter"

Next Joke
 
"I decided to jerk off right in front of my blind girlfriend last night She didn't see it coming."
"Hey guys, which cell phone provider drops the most calls? I need to get one for my mom."
"Ebay is challenging to use . . . (x-post from F7U14) I searched for lighters, and I got 72,816 matches!"
"My friend showed me her new vegan pants. I know vegans can be annoying and everything, but should we really be making pants out of them?"
"I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit's door."
"The Sun God Heloios was hungover today. Unable to lift his radiant body out of bed he just stuck his blazing bare bum over the horizon... ... it was the crack of dawn."
"Spandex is sausage casing for humans."
"What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw."
"[mom sneaks up & scares son; ruins coloring] Narrator: Does this happen to u? Then u need... [cut to mom jumping on 1 foot & yelling] Legos"