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Joke of the Day

"Seriously, Twitter. Do NOT import my contacts."

"Whats my knee's favourite channel? Dis-knee channel."

"I've looked all over the Google and ""fuck you sideways"" is not French for anything, Sir."

"What do you call 2 polar bears jerking each other off? Bi-polar"

"Why did the Soviets decide to be Russian? Cuz they got tired of Stalin."

"When I die, throw berries on my grave Cause that's how I would like to be berried"

"My girlfriend cheated on me. She damn near broke my back."

"What's the difference between Trump and Bush? Trump builds towers and Bush knocks them down."

"I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related."

"Ferguson, MO In the after hours bars where the cops in Ferguson hang out, the most popular tipple is a 'Jim Crow': that's a shot of Jim Beam, and a shot of Old Crow - served separate, but equal."