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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black and white bird that can't win, nor fly. A peng-lose."

"Why was drug addicted Moses upset when he was floating down a river? because he was in Da-Nile"

"5-year-old: *hits her sister* Me: Keep your hands to yourself. 5: Me: 5: *kicks* Me: And your feet. 5: Me: 5: *headbutts*"

"My Grandfather developed Cancer when he was younger Some say he's the most evil scientist to ever have lived."

"What is a good opening bridge bid for the Presidential Election? One no-Trump. Literally a Dad joke. From my literal Dad."

"Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really? Which one? Fred: A Saint Bernard."

"A joke I just made... ""I just invented a new word... plagiarism"""

"England lost to Iceland in the Euro Cup and got knocked out I guess you could say its the worst thing to happen to them in the past 4 days"

"How do you call a USB stick in Russia? A put-in"

"What's 16 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Obama's Tie."