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Joke of the Day
"How does a blonde count a thousand sheep? She counts the legs, and divides by 4."
Next Joke
"I dont mean to sound racist, but why is my baby black? *doctor sighs for like 3 mins* ""Sir, its an ultrasound"" *Seinfeld bass riff for days*"
"Nobody heard those terrorist attacks coming... Never forget the tragic events of mime-eleven"
"How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip? Bring two Mormons."
"Q. How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Nobody knows, there's no light."
"""Help! I can't get my jogging trousers off!"" ""We'll have to perform an emergency trackybottomy"""
"What do you call an openly gay detective? Surecocks Holmes"
"My new favorite sex position... Is called the JFK. It's where I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car."
"This guy clicking his pen in Starbucks just got stabbed when I stabbed him."
".@Garfield because of your ""cartoon"" I fed my beloved Mr. Turtle lasagna & coffee for his birthday & he died. I will fuck your soul."