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Joke of the Day

"I'm actually reasonably happy with Trump's presidency right now..... after all, he's had the nuclear codes for a couple of days now and hasn't tweeted them yet."

"The human cannonball informs the circus manager that he plans to retire at the end of season. The distraught manager protests ""Where am I going to find another employee of your caliber?"""

"An Indian walks into a hotel, and the receptionist asks ""Do you have a reservation?"""

"I prefer regular taxis to Uber in NYC cause the driver and I can both treat each other like shit without worrying about getting a bad grade"

"My medical bills are so high That I got a thank you card from my Doctors kids' colleges"

"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could suck it, he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, "" if my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it!"""

"How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles"

"What do you call a Mexican supremacist organization against civil rights? The Que Que Que."

"Oh dear... I should get out of the way, he's probably trying to catch a bad guy. -me getting pulled over"

"My favorite sitcom episode is the one where there's a huge misunderstanding."