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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scotsman? Mick Jagger says ""hey you, get off of my cloud."" a scotsman says ""hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!"""

"Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a nice talk."

"What do you call a bull that masturbates? Beef Jerky."

"Me on the toilet: HEY I NEED SOME TOILET PAPER 6: *running around dressed like a mummy* we're all out"

"If I owned a moving company, I'd call it 'Van Gogh.'"

"What do you call a black guy who flies a plane? A PILOT, YOU RACIST!"

"Do Asian Golf Crowds Ohhhh And Awwwww Better Than American Fans?"

"So a DBA walks into a NOSQL bar... but immediately leaves because he couldn't find a table"

"I like watching horror films behind the sofa. That way my neighbours don't know I'm there."

"Tip: ""Montreal"" is short for ""Monsters Are Real."" The city was originally given this name due to its abundance of monsters."