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Joke of the Day

"""So,why r all Arabs terrorists?"" 'All?' ""Well,most."" 'There's 369,243,763 Arabs.If they were mostly terrorists,you'd be dead' #ArabInAmerica"

"How much is twelve units of mass? Dozen matter."

"Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet? Because it had too many threads."

"Every call with my mother starts in one of two ways: 1. WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED? IS EVERYTHING OK? 2. WHY ARE YOU CALLING? IS EVERYTHING OK?"

"What did the doctor say to the angry midget? I'm going to have to ask you to be a little patient."

"I'm amazed football players don't fumble on literally every play. One time I tripped on a curb and both of my shoes fell off."

"Having no clue about human anatomy is my Achilles Elbow."

"I'm getting a little tired of these people coming to my door telling me I need to be ""saved"" or ""I'll burn""... Stupid firefighters."

"Did you heard about the cardiac arrest victim? He was shocked when he survived"

"Two guys stole a calendar They both got six months"