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Joke of the Day

"Hi, fire department? My cat is in a tree. Television has taught me that this is your problem."

"What do the mafia and a vagina have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."

"""Owen, you must hide this baby, at all costs, from Anakin Skywalker."" ""Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?"" ""Seems fine."""

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs"

"If your going to be two faced at least make one of them pretty."

"Give a man religion... ...and he will die praying for a fish"

"What do you call an angry German? A sour kraut"

"Did you hear about the black boy with with diarrhea? Everyone thought he was melting."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bless ! Bless who ? I didn't sneeze !"

"I came in second at a Monica Lewinsky look alike competition. . . . . . the judge said I was close, but no cigar."