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Joke of the Day

"I'm Starting a Fundraiser to Help Restore Sight to Seniors with Degenerative Eye Problems. Please Upvote for visibility."

"I think Lady Gaga just puts glue on herself and rolls around on random things."

"Misery loves company. But not you. Even Misery has standards."

"Neil never had a girlfriend... So Neil Armstrong."

"Hipsters probly don't eat carrots since they lose interest in things when there not underground anymore."

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper up to a mile away."

"Q: What do you call a country bumpkin from Michigan's Upper Peninsula? A: A hick-UP"

"what the? why are all the prices $4.20? and where are all the potato chips? *walmart rollback guy is passed out in a box of clearance DVDs*"

"[OC] What is said in both the bathroom and the police interrogation room? ""Come clean, asshole!"""

"Recent studies show that eating bacon or other red meats increases your chances of dying by 20% So apparently I have a 120% chance of dying"