16721

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a construction company that only employs midgets? Clearly short handed."

"This hating of people that breastfeed in public should really stop... I can raise my cat any way I want to."

"What did Santa Claus's wife say during a thunderstorm? 'Come and look at the rain dear.'"

"Avenge me! But only through passive aggressively commenting loudly around my murderer how great it would be to still have me alive."

"I'm not sexist! Sexism is wrong. And being wrong is for women."

"The neighbors are looking at me strangely again. Like they have never seen a man sitting on his roof with a pair binoculars before."

"I hate when I can't understand what I'm eavesdropping on."

"Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials."

"Bed wetters let it go straight to voicemail when nature calls."

"I wish my garden was emo... Why? So it will cut itself."