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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri? A shot in the dark."

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"You're the last hot dog on the rollers at 7-11 of people."
"Whats the most deserted place on fathers day? The visitation ward."
"Someone told me Harrison Ford is part Jewish. So it's fair to say, ""Han hammered first."""
"""Count down to zero silently with your fingers and then do a fist pump."" - SWAT manual on breaking down doors"
"There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman before marriage & after marriage"
"You treat your body like a temple? That's nice. I treat mine like a whorehouse above a liquor store next to a motherfucking Taco Bell."
"Parkinson's Disease was named after its discoverer, Dr. Timothy Disease."
"I like my women how I like my whiskey. 13 years old and mixed up with coke."
"Everyone thought you could get a writing job from twitter but that never happens anymore its only for things like becoming the president"
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