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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar with a big slab of asphalt under his arm... He goes to the bartender and says, ""Two beers mate, One for now and one for the road"""

"I just got carded at Forever 21. This is bullshit!"

"Why are gangstas afraid of the rain? Cuz they roofless."

"How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life ? Tell him a joke when he's a baby !"

"You need an Arc? I Noah guy."

"The only time my ex will ever scream ""DEEPER, DEEPER"" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground."

"I've been wondering for a while now... If a man who likes Asians has Yellow Fever, and a man who likes Africans has Jungle Fever; does that mean because I like Native Americans, that I have Smallpox?"

"How to sound Australian. Say ""good eye might"" aloud."

"How does Geppetto exact his revenge on Monstro the Whale? Marry a net maker"

"Humans are constantly amazing me; like how vegan is a thing but hibernation isn't? Wtf."