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Joke of the Day

"You think you have a bad job? I'm working at the Return Desk at Toy R' Us in Connecticut"

"*Meeting GF parents* What are your intentions with our daughter? Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me"

"Me: Well hello again. I knew you'd be back. I seem to have that effect on people Fed Ex: Just sign here so I can leave"

"Two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts make a right. And two Wrights make a plane 6 lefts make a plane."

"Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a ""Which Muppet Are You?"" quiz."

"What did batman say to the joker when he finally caught him? Gotham"

"How would Arnold Schwarzenegger describe a sousaphone? ""It's not a tuba!"""

"Why do Chinese people suck at soccer? Because every time they get a corner they open up a restaurant."

"Why is Africa so bad at cricket? Because they only have Ebola!"

"This is the story of a man named Jack. Jack was, well lets just say he was a repairman. One day while repairing the shingles on a rooftop, Jack got stuck. Will you help Jack off?"